Posted by: JackRyan88 | December 12, 2010

Revelations

This afternoon I was looking through some of my old books and came across one by Shaunti Feldhahn named “For Women Only:  What you need to know about the inner lives of men”.  Yes the book is geared for women, but it gives good insight into how we as men actually think.  The book is meant to be read by men or women.  Don’t worry we are not talking about the book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.  Nope this is much different.  I was flipping through it and came to an interesting page labeled Seven Revelations.
Our Surface Understanding
What that mean in Practice
Men need respect
Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected.
Men are insecure
Despite their “in control” exterior, men often feel like imposters and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered.
Men are providers
Even if you personally made enough income to support the family lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide.
Men want more sex
Your sexual desire to your partner profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life.
Men are visual
Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other woman.
Men are unromantic clods
Actually most men enjoy romance (sometimes in different ways) and want to be romantic – but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed.
Men care about appearance
You don’t need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take care of yourself – and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you.

I necessarily do not agree with everything in these seven revelations that Mrs. Shaunti discusses in her book. I think the important ones are the following though:  Men need respect.  And I can see this in myself when I feel someone disrespects me or see’s my inadequacies.  I try to figure out why. Thinking and thinking in my head, when I find a fault, I beat myself up all over that fault, and the cycle continues while I fall deeper and deeper in the black abyss.  To me inadequacy will result in me feeling disrespected.  Men are insecure, and while this goes with having respect, I am insecure in myself that I cannot see that everyone had inadequacies.  I do not want to be disrespected because of those inadequacies.

The book by Mrs. Shaunti does dive into all seven revelations quit extensively; I have found though that each revelation is related in some way to being respected, and not seeing a man’s inadequacies.  Although that is not practical, we are human and we have inadequacies, it is how we as men are affected by them.  Because we are all individuals we see them all differently and react to them as individuals.

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